jessteronimo

Field Sobriety Testing

You've probably seen a dozen pieces of videos of officers of the law giving field sobriety tests to people suspected of driving under the influence of drugs or alcohol. Trust me, those tests are a lot harder to administer--and to perform--than you think! I spent my weekend and Monday's holiday holed up in my office morning till night with a dozen other coworkers and local attorneys completing the training necessary to become qualified to administer the National Highway Traffic and Safety Association's standardized field sobriety tests. Why? you ask. Well, I work for criminal defense attorneys who focus mainly on DUI defense, and they wanted to have their entire staff trained so we know what to look for when reviewing our clients' cases. Very few in the legal profession have completed this training. My bosses are wise to provide that edge, if you ask me. So yes, now that I have passed both the written and practical exams for that course, I am every bit as qualified to give you a field sobriety test as that highway patrol trooper you pass on the road or your local gun-toting sheriff.

You probably haven't ever noticed the officer giving the test instructions when you've seen those videos, have you? The three scientifically validated standardized tests--the horizontal gaze nystagmus test (the eye test), the walk-and-turn test, and the one leg stand--are strict, complicated, and difficult to administer under controlled circumstances. I imagine things get a lot more complicated out on the streets, especially at night with uncooperative and sometimes violent suspects.

And taking those tests?! Many of us had trouble maintaining balance and following instructions exactly while acting as the subjects of the tests for other "cadets" learning the instructional process, and we were all stone-cold sober! I can't imagine doing them on the side of a road, in poor weather conditions, at night, on a busy road, in heels, and while intoxicated! No wonder so many people get arrested! It's true that people practice these tests and can become proficient at them even when drunk, but you can't "game" the HGN test because it's neurological, not physical. So beware, you drinkers out there.

They divided us into groups of three to practice giving the tests. I was lucky enough to be put into a group with two other highly motivated people who were smart and focused. Both were seasoned attorneys, so their experience helped me as well. We bonded really well, picked up the concepts quickly, and helped coach each other to proficiency. Other groups were not so fortunate, and parts of the days dragged as we waited for the others to catch up. At one point as we were waiting, my black belt status was revealed, and the male attorney in my group became intrigued and began asking me "what if I came at you like this" questions. He was a big, broad-shouldered guy. As he tried a few different attacks, I mock countered and showed him how I'd fight back. We were having a lot of fun with this activity when the main instructor walked in. We quickly got back on task, but the instructor, who has an extensive law enforcement background, was impressed and commented to me that he had recognized something in my movements and carriage that had suggested a law enforcement training background. "I would have pegged you for an ex-cop," he noted. It's amazing how much my karate training has influenced me. In fact, we have two ex-cops on staff, and the instructors initially thought I was one of them! Once again, I can't tell you how grateful I am for my martial arts training.

Anyway, while the experience was interesting and rewarding, giving up my weekend to this course was more challenging than I would have thought. I missed my family, I'm exhausted still, and I can't wait for Friday. But hey, at least now I have some cool party tricks to add to my repertoire, eh?

Black, Baby!

On September 17th, I fulfilled a major dream of mine: I tested for and earned a black belt in Kenpo karate.

When I started studying Kenpo in 2006, I didn’t really have Black as a goal. I was looking for a cardio activity that would challenge my mind and body, and I wanted to learn how to defend myself. But after attending the AKKI camp in Las Vegas a few months into my training and seeing how the other black belts in the AKKI system moved, I was inspired to set a goal of becoming a black belt. I knew it would be hard work and require a lot of dedication, but it still surprised me how hard it was. Although I love it, martial arts doesn't come as naturally to me as it does to some I know, so I've had to work harder than some to gain the skills, and I have a lot left to learn. Over the four years I've studied the art, I missed class only a few times a year, regularly picked the brains of and tried to mimic superior artists and instructors, practiced mentally and physically almost constantly, taught other students for the last two years, and participated in as many extra seminars as I could. My dear family has been incredibly patient with my frequent absences, and I've felt the support of family and friends all along the journey. There's no other way I would have been able to test in every camp since that first one, which allowed me to gain a new belt roughly every six months.

I overcame my fears and many obstacles to attain this goal, including pushing through a couple of pretty wicked burnout periods and battling health issues. Was it worth it? You better believe it! Ben keeps teasing me that I will "rank and run," a phrase coined for a common phenomenon when people achieve the black belt status and then soon quit studying martial arts. But he knows I'm too addicted now to ever do that. Besides, this is only the beginning of my journey. I still have so much to learn! I'm incredibly lucky to have such great instructors, including Mr. Ryan Wheaton, Mr. Shawn Gough, Mr. George Thomsen, and of course the living legend, AKKI founder Mr. Paul Mills. My sincerest thanks to these fine gentlemen and to my other instructors and fellow students in the art. It's been a real pleasure so far!

Countdown

At high noon tomorrow, I'll be beginning the test for my black belt in kenpo karate. It's been an almost-four-year journey, and I've worked really hard, harder than I thought I could. I hate tests of any kind, and I hate performing, and being in front of other people, and drawing attention of any kind. So my nature is perfectly suited for a grueling test with perhaps a dozen others performing intense, intricate, elegant, and very physical movements for close to 3 hours in a hot, small room in front of a board of about 65 high-ranking black belts and hundreds of bystanders. This is my seventh test, and each time I test, I just pray not to mess up and embarrass myself and my instructors.

I truly believe that I have some of the best instructors on the planet who selflessly share and give of their time and training year after year; I thank them now for a wonderful journey so far. No matter what happens tomorrow, I'm grateful it's finally happening. Even if I don't pass the test tomorrow, I will someday pass it. And I'll be able to sleep again tomorrow night, which I haven't done well for the past month and a half. Wish me luck!

Sneaky or Lucky?

Yesterday I spent almost the whole day at my karate studio. First we had an open house for four hours to celebrate the opening of a new addition to our studio and our 9th anniversary, during which time we had a practice session for the upcoming belt test in Evanston, Wyoming. I'm testing for my second degree brown belt, so of course I participated in the practice session. Then we had an hour-long seminar that lasted two hours--but for a good reason. About 40 minutes into the seminar, Mr. Paul Mills himself showed up. We got the rare treat of having instruction from Mr. Mills for the remainder of the seminar. At first I thought he'd pick up where Mr. Wheaton left off, having us continue to cover some basic freestyle techniques. But he took an entirely different approach that perfectly complemented what we'd been learning. He talked about being a good training partner, which flowed naturally into being alert, and ended in avoiding trouble and not starting fights. When the seminar closed out, we ate a birthday cake for the studio's 9th birthday.

A bunch of us were standing around eating cake and talking. Mr. Mills was talking to a woman by the door, and I wanted to get my picture taken with him. I handed my camera phone to a fellow student and approached Mr. Mills from the right. I wasn't being particularly stealthy, but I surprised him anyway, and we all had a good laugh as he teased about my "blind-siding" him after a seminar about being alert to your surroundings. So he granted me a photo opp as a reward for my ninja-like skills (jk)! I know better. I'm terribly lucky not to have a black eye!

I've Gone Grrrrrrrrrrrrreen!

On Friday I tested in front of the AKKI karate black belt board and received my next belt, green. I worked really hard for this belt, so it's quite the accomplishment for me. I've learned so much and I've come so far. Yet each time I reach a milestone I've been shooting for, more opportunities for growth open up to me, and I realize once again that I have so far yet to go.  It's exciting, not discouraging. I like to think that this art will always present such challenges to me, that I will always be learning and growing and perfecting what I've been taught.

The karate camp was three days long: Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. I tested better than I ever have. The energy level was up, which motivated me to really move like I know I need to. I was able to calm my usually frantic mind enough to focus and remember the things I'd learned and practiced hundreds of times. I was on, and it felt addictive and wonderful! The seminars seemed much varied from last time, so I felt like I was learning a lot of new material. With my new belt, I felt a renewed confidence, like I was starting another journey. And so I picked up weapons for the first time: the knife and the clubs. I have always hated and feared knives, but wielding and twirling my new dull-edged practice knife filled me with an odd sense of wonder. But it was the clubs that sucked me in. From the moment I picked up my new wooden clubs--a marvelous gift from a close friend--I knew I was home. Slightly longer than my forearms, these sticks whirl elegantly and make the most fascinating, heart-racing sounds as they flash rapidly and strike together like a thunderclap. I keep carrying them around with me, I'm so in love with them.

As always, it was great to see old friends and meet new ones, to be surrounded by the excellent instructors and their students, to conquer my fears and test my skills once again, and to absorb the knowledge being shared so willingly. I can't wait for the next camp!

Insult to Injury

Last night was the craziest karate class I've ever attended. The instructors worked us harder than ever. It was brutal. We were all sweating, sore, wheezy breathing, and swearing under our breath by the end of class. We spent an hour getting yelled at, belittled, rattled, and angry. Towards the end, while we were running a technique line, I threw an attack at a huge guy in the class, and he blocked my arm so hard that my arm immediately went completely numb and fell to my side like dead weight. I had to step out of line for a while trying not to cry, holding my arm protectively as the pain intensified to a crescendo. I knew it wasn't broken because I could rotate my arm, but it sure felt like it. I got back in line and faked the pain away for the remaining techniques, but I knew I wouldn't be able to move my arm today. Sure enough, I woke up this morning with a swollen bulge on my bicep. No bruise, though. *pout* I can't make a tight fist, can't squeeze, and can barely move my fingers. I'm making a point of pushing through the pain today, with the help of some substantial amounts of ibuprofen, but I have a feeling this will be a slower recovery than I'll let on. Good times.

I'm Blue

I tested for and received my blue belt in kenpo karate on Friday. As soon as they post the photos on my studio's blog, I'll add the link to my website. Four belts to go now before my black belt. I worked so unbelievably hard for this belt that I'm really proud of the accomplishment. So forgive me if I go on and on about it. I was stressing this test hard core for the past three months, so it's a relief to have it over and done with. That doesn't mean the pressure is off. On the contrary, I believe I'm just getting started. This camp lit a new fire in me, and I'm more determined than ever to rock this art form.

In the past, we've gone to Las Vegas, but camp was in Evanston, Wyoming, this time, where Grand Master Mr. Paul Mills lives, the heart and the birthplace of AKKI. The test was at noon on Friday, and it was the first thing that happened at this year's camp. We students were all very nervous and I think a little too tense. The test didn't go as well as anyone had hoped, I think. It was still a good test, but I think we all needed to loosen up and kick it up a few notches. Just my opinion.

At first, I ended up in the lower belt line like my last belt test, when inexplicably the rest of the group testing for blue belt were in the blue and green belt line. Go figure. That was disappointing, but they moved me over to the other line when they got high enough in the techniques that I was the last man standing in my line. During the test, I screwed up a number of times on things I knew by heart in the moments before the test but blanked completely when standing before a solid wall of prestigious black belts. Nerves. I don't handle the spotlight well. (I really need to figure out how to keep that from happening in the future. It's super embarrassing and downright unacceptable to me.) I'm too hard on myself. I remember at one point when I was doing one of the kata forms, I did a couple of moves out of order. I realized it a moment later--and then I realized that I had stopped cold when I realized that I'd screwed up earlier! I took a quick, deep breath and continued with no more problems, but I don't know how long I was just standing there like a dumb thing. I mean, ugh, Jess! I talked to my fellow students later, and they all said that I looked really focused and hadn't paused long at all. Still, it worries me that I didn't even know I'd stopped.

As soon as I finished my portion of the test and sat down, I felt my nerves relax down so deep inside that I figure I must have had that pressure built up in me since April! It really felt like I hadn't taken a deep breath for six months. I was finally able to relax and concentrate on what the instructors were teaching in the seminars over the next two days.

For the first time, the brown and black belt tests were open. Usually they are closed and only family can attend. But this year we got to watch those higher belts do their magic. It was absolutely inspiring! They move so well with so much skill and generate such energy that I was mesmerized. It's hard to imagine that I could actually do that some day, but I know I want to get there.

I learned so much at camp and even got some one-on-one instruction from some of the black belt board members. And when the seminars were over, we all headed for pretty much the only bar in town, owned by Mr. Mills. I really enjoyed hanging out with kenpoists from all over the world, hearing their stories and philosophies and just soaking in the presence of these truly great men and women. I already can't wait for the next camp!

Being Tested

Life is a test. It's true. One big test with a lot of little ones built in. And here I go subjecting myself to another one, completely volutarily. On Friday, I'll be testing for my blue belt in kenpo karate. I've been stressing this event for several weeks now, practicing every free moment. I even made myself a set of flash cards using a stack of index cards. I keep them in my purse and whip them out whenever I have down time, including at stop lights and store queues. I don't work well under pressure. My mind goes blank. And I hate being in the spotlight. The belt test is before a huge board of black-belted kenpoists. It's very pressure-packed. I'm hoping that I've been working hard enough that my muscle memory will carry me through the test, and then I'll be able to relax and absorb the other things I'm being taught at camp by those practioners who are wiser and more experienced than I. Wish me luck!

Thought I'd Share

My karate camp photos are in!

Here's my favorite: Me getting my purple belt!

Violet! You're Turning Violet, Violet!

Well, purple, to be precise.

Yep, I tested and was advanced to my purple belt on Friday. It was a tough test, mostly because I was so unbelievably nervous, I think. At one point, I could feel my heart beating in my neck, and my hands were clammy and icy cold. But once I got moving doing the forms and set routines, I loosened up quite a bit.

My instructors had given those of us who were testing some preparation tips, and since I'd watched the testing the year before, I thought I knew what to expect. Boy, was I wrong. We started out with the forms and set routines. All the students from my studio were testing or practice testing, so we were all out on the floor for the first form. But for the second form and the set routine, I was all alone (from my studio; there were about a dozen others doing the form)--in front of a board of about 50 black belts, my instructors, and a room full of camp attendees and their families. Luckily, I rock the forms and sets, so I did pretty well on this portion.

But then we started the technique lines. They grouped us by similar belt levels (white, yellow, and orange in one line--I was orange; other colored belts in other lines). There were four of my fellow studio students in my line--one white, one yellow, and two orange who had been raised orange two weeks ago (the other students at my belt level didn't go to camp). My instructors had told us to try to get in the middle of the line and mostly to avoid first place, so we did. But then they reordered the line so the highest belt was first. Um, that was me. First. NOT a comfortable position. With no prompting, you have to know both the attack and the defense. Everyone else watches and then goes, "Oh yeah, I remember this one." And away they go looking confident and coordinated. But I got to fumble--at least in my head, because I don't think I did too badly. My nerves tightened up again, and I had to hammer through an oncoming mental block so viciously that I have mental bruises. But again, after a bit, I loosened up and started getting comfortable. Big mistake.

The 7th-degree black belt who was assigned to monitor our line kept trying to get us to raise our intensity, particularly us girls. And when we didn't enough, he took matters into his own hands. Instead of having fellow testers attack, he stepped in and attacked--and he didn't hold back. He acted like a street attacker, yanking us around and shouting at us. It knocked me sideways, more mentally than physically. And it went on and on. After we got over the shock, we got some good shots off on him. I got a groin shot and a high punch that I was pretty proud of. Once they too got over the shock, the audience was laughing and cheering and clapping for us by the time we finished. It was memorable, that's for sure!

After that fun, we knelt with our foreheads on the ground to await the results of our testing. I didn't think I'd passed, and the release of all the built-up stress was too much for me. I started crying and couldn't stop, which made me more upset. I couldn't believe it when they told us to rise and my purple belt was sitting in front of me. Of course, that made me cry more, which made me embarrassed, which made me cry more. Vicious circle. So I was a mess after the test.

Once testing was out of the way, though, I found I could concentrate on the courses much better, and I learned so much that I was frantically taking notes before I forgot everything after camp.

Other highlights: Four days of back-to-back classes from 9 to 9 and night life on about 12 total hours of sleep. I lost my voice while at camp because of the smoky casino air. And I keep finding new bruises (bruises are badges); I have a cool series of welts on my left calf and a wicked fist-shaped bruise on my upper right arm.

I can't wait for class tonight! I can't wait for the next camp in September!