You've probably seen a dozen pieces of videos of officers of the law giving field sobriety tests to people suspected of driving under the influence of drugs or alcohol. Trust me, those tests are a lot harder to administer--and to perform--than you think! I spent my weekend and Monday's holiday holed up in my office morning till night with a dozen other coworkers and local attorneys completing the training necessary to become qualified to administer the National Highway Traffic and Safety Association's standardized field sobriety tests. Why? you ask. Well, I work for criminal defense attorneys who focus mainly on DUI defense, and they wanted to have their entire staff trained so we know what to look for when reviewing our clients' cases. Very few in the legal profession have completed this training. My bosses are wise to provide that edge, if you ask me. So yes, now that I have passed both the written and practical exams for that course, I am every bit as qualified to give you a field sobriety test as that highway patrol trooper you pass on the road or your local gun-toting sheriff.
You probably haven't ever noticed the officer giving the test instructions when you've seen those videos, have you? The three scientifically validated standardized tests--the horizontal gaze nystagmus test (the eye test), the walk-and-turn test, and the one leg stand--are strict, complicated, and difficult to administer under controlled circumstances. I imagine things get a lot more complicated out on the streets, especially at night with uncooperative and sometimes violent suspects.
And taking those tests?! Many of us had trouble maintaining balance and following instructions exactly while acting as the subjects of the tests for other "cadets" learning the instructional process, and we were all stone-cold sober! I can't imagine doing them on the side of a road, in poor weather conditions, at night, on a busy road, in heels, and while intoxicated! No wonder so many people get arrested! It's true that people practice these tests and can become proficient at them even when drunk, but you can't "game" the HGN test because it's neurological, not physical. So beware, you drinkers out there.
They divided us into groups of three to practice giving the tests. I was lucky enough to be put into a group with two other highly motivated people who were smart and focused. Both were seasoned attorneys, so their experience helped me as well. We bonded really well, picked up the concepts quickly, and helped coach each other to proficiency. Other groups were not so fortunate, and parts of the days dragged as we waited for the others to catch up. At one point as we were waiting, my black belt status was revealed, and the male attorney in my group became intrigued and began asking me "what if I came at you like this" questions. He was a big, broad-shouldered guy. As he tried a few different attacks, I mock countered and showed him how I'd fight back. We were having a lot of fun with this activity when the main instructor walked in. We quickly got back on task, but the instructor, who has an extensive law enforcement background, was impressed and commented to me that he had recognized something in my movements and carriage that had suggested a law enforcement training background. "I would have pegged you for an ex-cop," he noted. It's amazing how much my karate training has influenced me. In fact, we have two ex-cops on staff, and the instructors initially thought I was one of them! Once again, I can't tell you how grateful I am for my martial arts training.
Anyway, while the experience was interesting and rewarding, giving up my weekend to this course was more challenging than I would have thought. I missed my family, I'm exhausted still, and I can't wait for Friday. But hey, at least now I have some cool party tricks to add to my repertoire, eh?
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